Latest "America" Posts

Tune In to My Latest Interview + More!

Y’all tune into to SiriusXM 141 at noon EST today (Wednesday) for my book interview with Willie Jolley!

This weekend, I had the pleasure of speaking at the Todd Starnes Fall Get-a-way Week

end. It was held at the Cove, Billy Graham’s Conference Center in the beautiful mountains of Ashville, NC. The drive to the Cove alone was a kaleidoscope of breathtaking fall colors.

The weekend was filled with comedy, musicians and talented speakers.Comedian, Dennis Swanberg was a stitch, Lauren Green and Shannon Bream of FOX News touches our hearts and minds. It was a great group and an event to mark on your calendar for 2018.

 

Many of the speakers had some memorable quotes. Here are some of my favorites:

 

Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise they won’t come to yours. Yogi Beira

 

Disappointments are inevitable but discouragement is a choice.

 

Posted in book release, Southern Humor by Jane Jenkins Herlong.

The Ta-Ta Song

No doubt, mammograms and taking care of our ta-tas can give us moments that flip us out. Last year when I was having my annual screening, I was told there was “something” there and a diagnostic was needed. I was not afraid until after several more films were examined, a sonogram was suggested. Yep, I about flipped out! Thank the Lord, all was well after several hours of rechecks.

 

My sister had the same experience but she was not as fortunate. She made a decision to stop having mammograms and years later, breast cancer was discovered leading to a double mastectomy. I will say that her attitude was wonderful during her treatment and, thankfully, she did recover.

Don’t neglect your annual mammograms and allow your health to flip-flop into a crisis. My new book, “Rhinestones on my Flip-Flops” is all about taking care of ourselves both physically, spiritually and emotionally. I decided to write a song to remind women to take care of themselves from “tops” to bottom. Click HERE to watch the Ta-Ta Song in action.

Posted in breast cancer, Breast Cancer Awareness, encouragement, Southern Humor by Jane Jenkins Herlong.

My WOW Woman Momma and Hurricane Irma

I am watching Hurricane Irma and could not resist sharing this story about my funny and WOW mother (Woman of Wisdom).

 

My new book, “Rhinetones on my Flip-Flops” to be released on 9/26 is loaded with some of my favorite Southern tales so here is a memory to make you chuckle. Only in the South…

My WOW Woman Momma and Hurricane Irma

Momma was in the Intensive Care Unit recovering from heart surgery. We were only allowed to visit every two hours; I was always anxious to see her every morning. Momma’s doctor, Dr. Schweiger was making his rounds. My sister and I talked him into delivering a container of green peas and whipped potatoes—Momma’s favorite. Bless his heart, he was not thrilled walking into ICU carrying momma’s “breakfast.”

We had already made history at Roper Hospital. Momma missed her hair appointment—the first time in 48 years. You see it was Wednesday.

Posted in family, fun, funny, humor, Hurricanes, Southern Humor by Jane Jenkins Herlong.

Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda – Excuses and Regretted Words

Recently, I celebrated a birthday.  For some reason, I have been hearing the words: shoulda, woulda, coulda. Maybe I am paying extra attention to these words since I am older and hopefully wiser. I thought it would be interesting to dissect the meaning since these are excuses and regretted words.
WOULDA and COULDA– I think these are excuse words.  Here is an example, “I woulda/coulda BUT__________________.”  Another way to say the same thing with personal accountability is,  “I could have done more.”
SHOULDA- This word is officially added to my list of things never to say. I have a plaque in my house that reads, “Destined to be an old woman with no regrets.”
 SHOULDA is a regret word. I have heard unhappy people use this word often. They can’t fix “it” or try something different because it is too late.
To avoid the SHOULDA moments, look ahead. Ask yourself what life will look like in 20 years. If you see yourself unhappy and full of regrets, change your course.
My mother said something years ago that made me laugh. I told her that some individuals  are encouraged to write a letter to deceased people who still “haunt” them with unresolved issues or regrets. Her response was typical “all Eleanor.”  She paused, looked at me, tilted her head and said, “How do you address the letter, GRAVE?”
This suggestion made no sense to her which explains why she lived to be in her eighties and died peacefully. I witnessed how she handled a heart-breaking event with love, grace and forgiveness.
 So, watch out for the woulda, shoulda, coulda moments in life. Strive to have NO regrets and live with greater self-respect.

Posted in attitude, Southern Humor by Jane Jenkins Herlong.

The Good, the Bad and the Funny

 My friend, Penny and I had one of those special girlfriend visits. We both needed to lean on each other for wisdom, good insight and prayer.

As Penny spoke to me, I began to realize something in her and in myself that speaks volumes about our personalities. Penny is an amazing person who has the gift of sensitivity. Penny was being sensitive to a need in another’s life that became overwhelming and consuming. I made the comment, “Penny, your sensitivity is your good/bad.” In other words, her ability to be sensitive to the needs of others can also become a burden, if you let it.

Where does funny come into the picture? Can you laugh when your good and bad collide? I love to tell this funny story during my presentations when Penny’s good/bad collided but she found the funny.shoe with play button

Posted in attitude, Southern Humor by Jane Jenkins Herlong.
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Bury Me With My Pearls: If Only the Old Kitchen Table Could Talk

I’m ecstatic that my book, Bury Me With My Pearls is now available in AUDIO! Best of all, I wanted to share with ya’ll that I personally read every word because you just can’t fake a Southern accent! If you want to know what you’re in store for when you listen to my full book (hint: a lot of laughter and a few tears) you can view the excerpt below which was ripped straight from the pages of Bury Me With My Pearls.

“The more this table ages, the better it looks,” said the salesperson when Thomas and I bought our kitchen table. Years later that statement would have more meaning than the aging of the wood.

I dusted the kitchen table and saw the words, “Daniel C. Herlong” imprinted in the grain of the wood. I remember that was the time when Thomas father’s, Daddy Big John, was teaching Holmes and Caroline how to write cursive. The lesson was obviously repeated several times. Now we have an indelible memory of my father-in-law’s signature to cherish.

Posted in book release, Bury Me With My Pearls, Southern Humor by Jane Jenkins Herlong.
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The ‘What To Say’ Struggle

I was riding high after being crowned Miss South Carolina on Saturday night. Now it was time to prepare for the Miss America Pageant.

Sitting in the pageant shop my mind was spinning with thoughts of a myriad of things to check off my list before walking on the stage in Atlantic City. I sat down by an older woman as I waited to meet with the gown designer. “My grand baby is getting a new dress,” said the proud grandmother. “Oh, that is nice.” I replied. “Yes-sire-re, she is gonna be in another beauty pageant. She is the Cucumber Queen and will compete for the title of Miss Fresh Fruit and Vegetable.” (Believe it or not, this is a pageant in the state of South Carolina.) “How nice,” I said. “Yes, it is all we think about! We are so excited,” exclaimed the grandmother.

Posted in Miss South Carolina, perspective, Southern Humor, Southern Humor by Jane Jenkins Herlong.
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Stupid Things That Busy People Do

“Is this Mrs. Herlong?’ Asked the stranger. “Yes, this is customer service for Neiman Marcus. One of our customer care associates received your return and when they opened the box, it was not the Joan Vass Poppy dress…it was a cell phone.” Busy people…

I only wished I could have been present when the Verizon Wireless people opened a similar box containing the Joan Vass dress….surprise! I am glad the female comedian in me is alive and well.

Posted in attitude, Southern Humor by Jane Jenkins Herlong.
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Life Changing Laughter With Your Family

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Several years ago Thomas phoned with a big announcement, “I have a surprise for everybody. I’m driving up now.” The children and I raced outside, filled with laughter, and saw the object that challenged my wedding vows and changed my life forever—a boat. Not just any boat. A blue boat, its glittering paint sparkling in the sunlight. It reminded me of the Mike Benet pageant gown I wore in the Beaufort Water Festival. The children were thrilled. They thought it was beautiful.
Thomas is a man of good taste. Seeing him behind the wheel of that mirage-like, rhinestoned blue sequined boat seemed totally out of character. Thomas is more like Ward Cleaver than Larry the Cable Guy, or so I’d thought. 
Maybe that sparkly boat was his queenly tribute to the fact that he had dated two Miss Americas. “Did you know the boat was this color?” I asked hesitantly.
“Well, I knew the boat was blue, but not this kind of blue,” Thomas replied, not making sense. What frightened me the most was the massive engine attached to the stern. Yes, I said stern. Here lies yet another problem. I know very little about boats. Honestly, the entire thing resembled a piece of blue, rhinestone-encrusted plywood with a space shuttle engine attached to its rear.
To make boating even more interesting, Thomas honors only two speeds: dead still and g-force fast. We were in trouble. 
The boat did well in the lake near our home but taking it to the ocean brought new challenges. Tide changes create banks—big islands of pluff mud and/or oyster shell beds. We knew where practically every bank was located—we hit all of them. I kept an old pair of shoes in the boat because I became the designated “pusher.” You may ask, don’t you have a depth finder? Yes, but by the time it beeps you’re already up the “crick.”
I realized the Blue Beauty Queen is one of those big toys that men love to buy that resulted in even bigger family memories. I have no idea what happened to that sparkly boat but I do know there were times of being stared at, pointed to, and laughed at as we cruised open water and got stuck on banks. The greatest lesson is that we learned to laugh at ourselves; that glittery boat taught us how to sparkle and shine.
Pass this on to someone who needs to be reminded that developing a sense of humor starts with being able to laugh at yourself!
Do you need female motivational speakers at your next event? Maybe an after dinner speech needs to be given to tie your whole evening together. Contact me today at 803.480.1190 and let’s discuss your speaker needs! Find out more about the presentations I offer.

Posted in family, humor, laughter, Southern Humor by Jane Jenkins Herlong.
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Let Me Energize Your Next Meeting or Event

miss-south-carolina your next meetingI’d like to think that through my humorous storytelling, enriching life lessons, and uplifting songs (which also happen to be on Sirius XM Radio), that I’m able to help people. I can energize your next meeting! We all need to laugh, after all. It’s the stuff of life! All of my presentations are based upon my journey from the farm to the runway of the Miss America Pageant and beyond. My sense of humor helped me to overcome meeting new people, being labeled Dyslexic, and plenty of other things…eventually leading me to success. Most recently, I was nominated into the Speaker Hall of Fame!

My most popular presentations include:

  • Find the Funny in Dysfunction
  • Bare Feet to High Heels and the Flip-Flops in Between
  • Don’t Throw Tomatoes at My Field of Dreams!
  • Bury Me with My Pearls
  • What Ta-Tas Teach Us

Posted in inspiration, perspective, Southern Humor, Speaking engagement, youth advice by Jane Jenkins Herlong.