Latest "America" Posts

Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda – Excuses and Regretted Words

Recently, I celebrated a birthday.  For some reason, I have been hearing the words: shoulda, woulda, coulda. Maybe I am paying extra attention to these words since I am older and hopefully wiser. I thought it would be interesting to dissect the meaning since these are excuses and regretted words.
WOULDA and COULDA– I think these are excuse words.  Here is an example, “I woulda/coulda BUT__________________.”  Another way to say the same thing with personal accountability is,  “I could have done more.”
SHOULDA- This word is officially added to my list of things never to say. I have a plaque in my house that reads, “Destined to be an old woman with no regrets.”
 SHOULDA is a regret word. I have heard unhappy people use this word often. They can’t fix “it” or try something different because it is too late.
To avoid the SHOULDA moments, look ahead. Ask yourself what life will look like in 20 years. If you see yourself unhappy and full of regrets, change your course.
My mother said something years ago that made me laugh. I told her that some individuals  are encouraged to write a letter to deceased people who still “haunt” them with unresolved issues or regrets. Her response was typical “all Eleanor.”  She paused, looked at me, tilted her head and said, “How do you address the letter, GRAVE?”
This suggestion made no sense to her which explains why she lived to be in her eighties and died peacefully. I witnessed how she handled a heart-breaking event with love, grace and forgiveness.
 So, watch out for the woulda, shoulda, coulda moments in life. Strive to have NO regrets and live with greater self-respect.

Posted in attitude, Southern Humor by Jane Jenkins Herlong.

The Good, the Bad and the Funny

 My friend, Penny and I had one of those special girlfriend visits. We both needed to lean on each other for wisdom, good insight and prayer.

As Penny spoke to me, I began to realize something in her and in myself that speaks volumes about our personalities. Penny is an amazing person who has the gift of sensitivity. Penny was being sensitive to a need in another’s life that became overwhelming and consuming. I made the comment, “Penny, your sensitivity is your good/bad.” In other words, her ability to be sensitive to the needs of others can also become a burden, if you let it.

Where does funny come into the picture? Can you laugh when your good and bad collide? I love to tell this funny story during my presentations when Penny’s good/bad collided but she found the funny.shoe with play button

Posted in attitude, Southern Humor by Jane Jenkins Herlong.
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Bury Me With My Pearls: If Only the Old Kitchen Table Could Talk

I’m ecstatic that my book, Bury Me With My Pearls is now available in AUDIO! Best of all, I wanted to share with ya’ll that I personally read every word because you just can’t fake a Southern accent! If you want to know what you’re in store for when you listen to my full book (hint: a lot of laughter and a few tears) you can view the excerpt below which was ripped straight from the pages of Bury Me With My Pearls.

“The more this table ages, the better it looks,” said the salesperson when Thomas and I bought our kitchen table. Years later that statement would have more meaning than the aging of the wood.

I dusted the kitchen table and saw the words, “Daniel C. Herlong” imprinted in the grain of the wood. I remember that was the time when Thomas father’s, Daddy Big John, was teaching Holmes and Caroline how to write cursive. The lesson was obviously repeated several times. Now we have an indelible memory of my father-in-law’s signature to cherish.

Posted in book release, Bury Me With My Pearls, Southern Humor by Jane Jenkins Herlong.
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The ‘What To Say’ Struggle

I was riding high after being crowned Miss South Carolina on Saturday night. Now it was time to prepare for the Miss America Pageant.

Sitting in the pageant shop my mind was spinning with thoughts of a myriad of things to check off my list before walking on the stage in Atlantic City. I sat down by an older woman as I waited to meet with the gown designer. “My grand baby is getting a new dress,” said the proud grandmother. “Oh, that is nice.” I replied. “Yes-sire-re, she is gonna be in another beauty pageant. She is the Cucumber Queen and will compete for the title of Miss Fresh Fruit and Vegetable.” (Believe it or not, this is a pageant in the state of South Carolina.) “How nice,” I said. “Yes, it is all we think about! We are so excited,” exclaimed the grandmother.

Posted in Miss South Carolina, perspective, Southern Humor, Southern Humor by Jane Jenkins Herlong.
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Stupid Things That Busy People Do

“Is this Mrs. Herlong?’ Asked the stranger. “Yes, this is customer service for Neiman Marcus. One of our customer care associates received your return and when they opened the box, it was not the Joan Vass Poppy dress…it was a cell phone.” Busy people…

I only wished I could have been present when the Verizon Wireless people opened a similar box containing the Joan Vass dress….surprise! I am glad the female comedian in me is alive and well.

Posted in attitude, Southern Humor by Jane Jenkins Herlong.
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Life Changing Laughter With Your Family

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Several years ago Thomas phoned with a big announcement, “I have a surprise for everybody. I’m driving up now.” The children and I raced outside, filled with laughter, and saw the object that challenged my wedding vows and changed my life forever—a boat. Not just any boat. A blue boat, its glittering paint sparkling in the sunlight. It reminded me of the Mike Benet pageant gown I wore in the Beaufort Water Festival. The children were thrilled. They thought it was beautiful.
Thomas is a man of good taste. Seeing him behind the wheel of that mirage-like, rhinestoned blue sequined boat seemed totally out of character. Thomas is more like Ward Cleaver than Larry the Cable Guy, or so I’d thought. 
Maybe that sparkly boat was his queenly tribute to the fact that he had dated two Miss Americas. “Did you know the boat was this color?” I asked hesitantly.
“Well, I knew the boat was blue, but not this kind of blue,” Thomas replied, not making sense. What frightened me the most was the massive engine attached to the stern. Yes, I said stern. Here lies yet another problem. I know very little about boats. Honestly, the entire thing resembled a piece of blue, rhinestone-encrusted plywood with a space shuttle engine attached to its rear.
To make boating even more interesting, Thomas honors only two speeds: dead still and g-force fast. We were in trouble. 
The boat did well in the lake near our home but taking it to the ocean brought new challenges. Tide changes create banks—big islands of pluff mud and/or oyster shell beds. We knew where practically every bank was located—we hit all of them. I kept an old pair of shoes in the boat because I became the designated “pusher.” You may ask, don’t you have a depth finder? Yes, but by the time it beeps you’re already up the “crick.”
I realized the Blue Beauty Queen is one of those big toys that men love to buy that resulted in even bigger family memories. I have no idea what happened to that sparkly boat but I do know there were times of being stared at, pointed to, and laughed at as we cruised open water and got stuck on banks. The greatest lesson is that we learned to laugh at ourselves; that glittery boat taught us how to sparkle and shine.
Pass this on to someone who needs to be reminded that developing a sense of humor starts with being able to laugh at yourself!
Do you need female motivational speakers at your next event? Maybe an after dinner speech needs to be given to tie your whole evening together. Contact me today at 803.480.1190 and let’s discuss your speaker needs! Find out more about the presentations I offer.

Posted in family, humor, laughter, Southern Humor by Jane Jenkins Herlong.
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Let Me Energize Your Next Meeting or Event

miss-south-carolina your next meetingI’d like to think that through my humorous storytelling, enriching life lessons, and uplifting songs (which also happen to be on Sirius XM Radio), that I’m able to help people. I can energize your next meeting! We all need to laugh, after all. It’s the stuff of life! All of my presentations are based upon my journey from the farm to the runway of the Miss America Pageant and beyond. My sense of humor helped me to overcome meeting new people, being labeled Dyslexic, and plenty of other things…eventually leading me to success. Most recently, I was nominated into the Speaker Hall of Fame!

My most popular presentations include:

  • Find the Funny in Dysfunction
  • Bare Feet to High Heels and the Flip-Flops in Between
  • Don’t Throw Tomatoes at My Field of Dreams!
  • Bury Me with My Pearls
  • What Ta-Tas Teach Us

Posted in inspiration, perspective, Southern Humor, Speaking engagement, youth advice by Jane Jenkins Herlong.

Funny and Feel Good Presentation

What should you expect when you hire me to speak to your audience? Honey, I’d love to tell you all about my presentation – but it’s probably better for you to just see for yourself!

This clip is taken from my keynote at the FFA National Future Farmers of America Convention where I was privileged to speak in front of a crowd of 60,000 people. Yep, once I was called a heifer!

Find out more about the self-development I offer and how you can get in touch with me for lots of laughs and learning!

 


Posted in Southern Humor, Speaking engagement, storytelling by Jane Jenkins Herlong.
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Did Ya’ll Know You Can Hire Me to Speak at Your Event?

No matter what type of conference or event you’re planning, you can make it a hit with one of my funny, self improvement presentations. Using my sweet, Southern humor I look to inspire folks just like you to to laugh more and live healthier!

Posted in Southern Humor, Speaking engagement, successful speaker by Jane Jenkins Herlong.
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America – Melting Pot or Septic Tank?

I was PROUD to sing the National Anthem at the Miss South Carolina Pageant last week. It was a fun week filled with Queens, Princesses, Princes, Wanna-bees, Should-a-Beens, I’m-Done-With-This Pageant, and I-Can’t-Wait-till-Next-Year Competitors.  It was a beauty queen melting pot of variety of gowns, bodies and political opinions. It was a slice of America on steroids.

Posted in beauty pageants, beauty queens, pageants, Southern Humor by Jane Jenkins Herlong.
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