Latest "America" Posts

Would a Beauty Queen Dare Milk a Cow in a Beauty Pageant?

Booking Signing at Barnes and Noble in Augusta, GA January 27, Augusta Mall at 2 PM.

I heard this story and it quickly became one of my favorites to share from the platform. First of all, it is about a bold, beauty queen wanna-be. If you click on the video, it’s only 4.5 minutes, and you will hear funny moments plus great advice for the coming new year.

Here is my take of the story-

Challenge yourself! Talking to yourself negatively or listening to those who define you in a negative way, can be crippling. Give it a go and enjoy the possibilities!

Become really good at what you do. Malcolm Gladwell writes that ten thousand hours is the magic number of greatness. Well, that’s lots of milk when it comes to this story!

Someone will move your bucket, too. Bless her heart, she did everything correct but someone mooved (can’t help myself) her bucket.

Yep, spilled milk happens. Now, here is the question…when someone moves your bucket, will you quit and cry over spilled milk or try it again?

Enjoy the video and share with someone who needs a laugh and encouragement to milk life for all its worth. 

Posted in attitude, inspiration, Southern Humor by Jane Jenkins Herlong.

Stop Being So Trashy; Read She Let GO!

Can You Let Go?

My knees buckled when I read this poem by Reverend Safire Rose entitled, She Let Go. This message is so simple but we make “letting go” so complex. Seriously, take time to read this poem and share it with others.

She let go. Without a thought or a word, she let go.

She let go of the fear. She let go of the judgments. She let go of the confluence of opinions swarming around her head. She let go of the committee of indecision within her. She let go of all the ‘right’ reasons. Wholly and completely, without hesitation or worry, she just let go.

She didn’t ask anyone for advice. She didn’t read a book on how to let go. She didn’t search the scriptures. She just let go. She let go of all of the memories that held her back. She let go of all of the anxiety that kept her from moving forward. She let go of the planning and all of the calculations about how to do it just right.

Posted in attitude, inspiration, Southern Humor by Jane Jenkins Herlong.

Laughing at Myself Through Christmas Stress

Click on the picture and download free chapters!

Have you ever had a crazy day of busyness?

The song, It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year, played over and over in my head. Can I add these new lyrics… for Christmas stress?
I was practically in a panic as I rushed to get dressed to start a long day of “to-dos.” My Christmas list was long and my time to shop was short. How strange—you don’t see men stressing out shopping… until Christmas Eve.

And after standing in seemingly endless checkout lines, and walking my legs off searching for non-internet ordered items, I was ready for a treat. Ahhhh, a pedicure.
I walked into a salon filled with my fellow, weary shoppers; they were ready to give themselves a few minutes of foot pleasure. I was fixated on the tub of swirling warm water that beckoned to my aching feet.

Posted in Southern Humor, stress by Jane Jenkins Herlong.

Christmas Parades – What A Ride

I trained for pageant competition at Billy's Funeral Home.Gracious, I had a blast riding in Christmas Parades! I became a skilled candy-thrower and I had perfected my beauty queen wave. But I learned more than just how to wave in parades. I believe these “rhinestoned lessons” taught me how to laugh at myself along with developing a healthy attitude while riding in a kazillion Christmas parades. Here are a few really funny, timeless lessons I learned.

  • Don’t take yourself too seriously.
    I was asked to be the Grand Marshall in a small town parade. Well, I thought I was the most important part of the parade until the Mayor told me that I was being replaced by the pride and joy of the town- a brand new, purple, sanitation truck. But the good news was I was allowed to ride in the front cab. It was a stitch! So there I sat, crown and all, as I rode through the elated town folks. They cheered and clapped… over their new, purple, dump truck. So much for me and my fabulous wave.

Posted in beauty queens, Christmas, Southern Humor by Jane Jenkins Herlong.

Tune In to My Latest Interview + More!

Y’all tune into to SiriusXM 141 at noon EST today (Wednesday) for my book interview with Willie Jolley!

This weekend, I had the pleasure of speaking at the Todd Starnes Fall Get-a-way Week

end. It was held at the Cove, Billy Graham’s Conference Center in the beautiful mountains of Ashville, NC. The drive to the Cove alone was a kaleidoscope of breathtaking fall colors.

The weekend was filled with comedy, musicians and talented speakers.Comedian, Dennis Swanberg was a stitch, Lauren Green and Shannon Bream of FOX News touches our hearts and minds. It was a great group and an event to mark on your calendar for 2018.

 

Many of the speakers had some memorable quotes. Here are some of my favorites:

 

Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise they won’t come to yours. Yogi Beira

 

Disappointments are inevitable but discouragement is a choice.

 

Posted in book release, Southern Humor by Jane Jenkins Herlong.

The Ta-Ta Song

No doubt, mammograms and taking care of our ta-tas can give us moments that flip us out. Last year when I was having my annual screening, I was told there was “something” there and a diagnostic was needed. I was not afraid until after several more films were examined, a sonogram was suggested. Yep, I about flipped out! Thank the Lord, all was well after several hours of rechecks.

 

My sister had the same experience but she was not as fortunate. She made a decision to stop having mammograms and years later, breast cancer was discovered leading to a double mastectomy. I will say that her attitude was wonderful during her treatment and, thankfully, she did recover.

Don’t neglect your annual mammograms and allow your health to flip-flop into a crisis. My new book, “Rhinestones on my Flip-Flops” is all about taking care of ourselves both physically, spiritually and emotionally. I decided to write a song to remind women to take care of themselves from “tops” to bottom. Click HERE to watch the Ta-Ta Song in action.

Posted in breast cancer, Breast Cancer Awareness, encouragement, Southern Humor by Jane Jenkins Herlong.

My WOW Woman Momma and Hurricane Irma

I am watching Hurricane Irma and could not resist sharing this story about my funny and WOW mother (Woman of Wisdom).

 

My new book, “Rhinetones on my Flip-Flops” to be released on 9/26 is loaded with some of my favorite Southern tales so here is a memory to make you chuckle. Only in the South…

My WOW Woman Momma and Hurricane Irma

Momma was in the Intensive Care Unit recovering from heart surgery. We were only allowed to visit every two hours; I was always anxious to see her every morning. Momma’s doctor, Dr. Schweiger was making his rounds. My sister and I talked him into delivering a container of green peas and whipped potatoes—Momma’s favorite. Bless his heart, he was not thrilled walking into ICU carrying momma’s “breakfast.”

We had already made history at Roper Hospital. Momma missed her hair appointment—the first time in 48 years. You see it was Wednesday.

Posted in family, fun, funny, humor, Hurricanes, Southern Humor by Jane Jenkins Herlong.

Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda – Excuses and Regretted Words

Recently, I celebrated a birthday.  For some reason, I have been hearing the words: shoulda, woulda, coulda. Maybe I am paying extra attention to these words since I am older and hopefully wiser. I thought it would be interesting to dissect the meaning since these are excuses and regretted words.
WOULDA and COULDA– I think these are excuse words.  Here is an example, “I woulda/coulda BUT__________________.”  Another way to say the same thing with personal accountability is,  “I could have done more.”
SHOULDA- This word is officially added to my list of things never to say. I have a plaque in my house that reads, “Destined to be an old woman with no regrets.”
 SHOULDA is a regret word. I have heard unhappy people use this word often. They can’t fix “it” or try something different because it is too late.
To avoid the SHOULDA moments, look ahead. Ask yourself what life will look like in 20 years. If you see yourself unhappy and full of regrets, change your course.
My mother said something years ago that made me laugh. I told her that some individuals  are encouraged to write a letter to deceased people who still “haunt” them with unresolved issues or regrets. Her response was typical “all Eleanor.”  She paused, looked at me, tilted her head and said, “How do you address the letter, GRAVE?”
This suggestion made no sense to her which explains why she lived to be in her eighties and died peacefully. I witnessed how she handled a heart-breaking event with love, grace and forgiveness.
 So, watch out for the woulda, shoulda, coulda moments in life. Strive to have NO regrets and live with greater self-respect.

Posted in attitude, Southern Humor by Jane Jenkins Herlong.

The Good, the Bad and the Funny

 My friend, Penny and I had one of those special girlfriend visits. We both needed to lean on each other for wisdom, good insight and prayer.

As Penny spoke to me, I began to realize something in her and in myself that speaks volumes about our personalities. Penny is an amazing person who has the gift of sensitivity. Penny was being sensitive to a need in another’s life that became overwhelming and consuming. I made the comment, “Penny, your sensitivity is your good/bad.” In other words, her ability to be sensitive to the needs of others can also become a burden, if you let it.

Where does funny come into the picture? Can you laugh when your good and bad collide? I love to tell this funny story during my presentations when Penny’s good/bad collided but she found the funny.shoe with play button

Posted in attitude, Southern Humor by Jane Jenkins Herlong.
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Bury Me With My Pearls: If Only the Old Kitchen Table Could Talk

I’m ecstatic that my book, Bury Me With My Pearls is now available in AUDIO! Best of all, I wanted to share with ya’ll that I personally read every word because you just can’t fake a Southern accent! If you want to know what you’re in store for when you listen to my full book (hint: a lot of laughter and a few tears) you can view the excerpt below which was ripped straight from the pages of Bury Me With My Pearls.

“The more this table ages, the better it looks,” said the salesperson when Thomas and I bought our kitchen table. Years later that statement would have more meaning than the aging of the wood.

I dusted the kitchen table and saw the words, “Daniel C. Herlong” imprinted in the grain of the wood. I remember that was the time when Thomas father’s, Daddy Big John, was teaching Holmes and Caroline how to write cursive. The lesson was obviously repeated several times. Now we have an indelible memory of my father-in-law’s signature to cherish.

Posted in book release, Bury Me With My Pearls, Southern Humor by Jane Jenkins Herlong.
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