Latest "attitude" Posts

Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda – Excuses and Regretted Words

Recently, I celebrated a birthday.  For some reason, I have been hearing the words: shoulda, woulda, coulda. Maybe I am paying extra attention to these words since I am older and hopefully wiser. I thought it would be interesting to dissect the meaning since these are excuses and regretted words.
WOULDA and COULDA– I think these are excuse words.  Here is an example, “I woulda/coulda BUT__________________.”  Another way to say the same thing with personal accountability is,  “I could have done more.”
SHOULDA- This word is officially added to my list of things never to say. I have a plaque in my house that reads, “Destined to be an old woman with no regrets.”
 SHOULDA is a regret word. I have heard unhappy people use this word often. They can’t fix “it” or try something different because it is too late.
To avoid the SHOULDA moments, look ahead. Ask yourself what life will look like in 20 years. If you see yourself unhappy and full of regrets, change your course.
My mother said something years ago that made me laugh. I told her that some individuals  are encouraged to write a letter to deceased people who still “haunt” them with unresolved issues or regrets. Her response was typical “all Eleanor.”  She paused, looked at me, tilted her head and said, “How do you address the letter, GRAVE?”
This suggestion made no sense to her which explains why she lived to be in her eighties and died peacefully. I witnessed how she handled a heart-breaking event with love, grace and forgiveness.
 So, watch out for the woulda, shoulda, coulda moments in life. Strive to have NO regrets and live with greater self-respect.

Posted in attitude, Southern Humor by Jane Jenkins Herlong.

The Good, the Bad and the Funny

 My friend, Penny and I had one of those special girlfriend visits. We both needed to lean on each other for wisdom, good insight and prayer.

As Penny spoke to me, I began to realize something in her and in myself that speaks volumes about our personalities. Penny is an amazing person who has the gift of sensitivity. Penny was being sensitive to a need in another’s life that became overwhelming and consuming. I made the comment, “Penny, your sensitivity is your good/bad.” In other words, her ability to be sensitive to the needs of others can also become a burden, if you let it.

Where does funny come into the picture? Can you laugh when your good and bad collide? I love to tell this funny story during my presentations when Penny’s good/bad collided but she found the funny.shoe with play button

Posted in attitude, Southern Humor by Jane Jenkins Herlong.
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Suzie Humphreys is a WOW-Woman of Wisdom


Do you have WOW in your life? Are you a WOW?

I was delighted to hear Suzie Humphreys, one of my WOW (Women of Wisdom), speak last week at the National Speakers Association’s Annual meeting. My new book, “Rhinestones on my Flip-Flops” (now available for pre-orders), has a section dedicated to WOW.

I love Suzie’s style of speaking; her wit and wisdom are as sharp as a Texas boot spur. Along with her hilarious humor, Suzie throws in a zinger or two just at the right time. In her amazing presentation, she gave us three major bullet points for life and speaking:

Suzie Humphreys is a WOW-Woman of Wisdom-Love yourself
-Share your best self
-Laugh at yourself

Posted in emotions, inspiration by Jane Jenkins Herlong.
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How to Experience Extragavant Joy


Bree Boyce Marsh chooses JOY! My buddy and Miss South Carolina “sistah” made a decision several years ago that changed her life in a dramatic way.

It is Miss South Carolina week and in honor of this exciting event and the theme of my new book, “Rhinestones on My Flip-Flops,” I thought of Bree Boyce Marsh. Bree possesses many of the same qualities I highlight in a chapter in my book entitled, “Fearless and Fabulous Esther.”  Like queen Esther, Bree is brave, bold and beautiful. But it did not start out that way.

Bree was 17 years old and weighed in at 234. She was unhappy and traveling down a road with an unhealthy end. She made a dramatic decision. Bree began an extensive fitness program that turned this young woman into a new person. She lost 114 lbs. and went from a size 18 to a size 4. You see, Bree chose a challenging path but her journey led to extravagant JOY.

Posted in beauty queens, inspiration, Miss South Carolina by Jane Jenkins Herlong.
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Even Kitty “Jenks” Has Flip-Flops


“Momma,” said Caroline. I found a sweet kitty in a flower pot in front of Daddy’s office. She is hurt. “Well, Caroline,” I said. “Take her to the Vet.”

Poor, little kitty had a broken leg. After 3 weeks of kitty R&R, she was running, jumping and playing. The once frightened and traumatized kitty is slowly making our home, her home.

We named her Jenks and she is a cutie but she also has “street smarts”. Jenks has no fear and rules in a large way to be such a little kitty. Even Milo, Caroline’s monster kitty runs from Jenks. Yes, her dog, Maggie does, too.

Can we agree that Jenks has had to survive some flip-flops? I think so.

It was an interesting moment when Jenks met our yard dog, Hobie. Hobie is the king of the yard and even follows Thomas to church AND arrives before me.

Posted in attitude, encouragement, inspiration by Jane Jenkins Herlong.
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And The Winner Is…

flips

I was new to the world of pageantry. Interview always grabbed my interest until my pageant coach (yes, they exist, especially in the South) asked me the unthinkable. “Jane,” he said. “Who should win this pageant?” My brain and mouth froze. Seeing the look on my face, my coach challenged me and asked, “Why are you here? Do you want to be the winner or not?”

I made the decision to be a winner…at life.

Posted in attitude by Jane Jenkins Herlong.
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Stupid Things That Busy People Do

“Is this Mrs. Herlong?’ Asked the stranger. “Yes, this is customer service for Neiman Marcus. One of our customer care associates received your return and when they opened the box, it was not the Joan Vass Poppy dress…it was a cell phone.” Busy people…

I only wished I could have been present when the Verizon Wireless people opened a similar box containing the Joan Vass dress….surprise! I am glad the female comedian in me is alive and well.

Posted in attitude, Southern Humor by Jane Jenkins Herlong.
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Red, Ripe Tomatoes and the Eiffel Tower

MzDOmqgIt is tomato season on Johns Island.  I remember all of those hot summers I picked tomatoes to help my daddy with incidental expenses during my college years.  Here is an excerpt from my book, Bare Feet to High Heels, that reminds me of timeless life-lessons that helped me many years ago and still reminds me of simple success principles.

It’s hard to believe that leaning over picking tomatoes in a hot Johns Island tomato field eventually got me to the top of the Eiffel Tower. A long journey made simple by five principles—truths I must share.

This chapter will not make you laugh; it will make you think. Enjoy a bucket filled with vine-ripened, staked, irrigated, unculled down-home wisdom.

My journey to the top of the Eiffel Tower began in my own backyard. I started a wholesale tomato business that helped me to earn money for college in addition to teaching me timeless success principles. The long, hot hours I spent working in my Daddy’s tomato fields still have an impact on my life.

Posted in challenges, encouragement, inspiration, inspiration by Jane Jenkins Herlong.
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How to Be Loved; How to Be Hated

Female Motivational speakers“It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for something you are not.” Andre Gide

Do you agree with this statement? In my opinion, these few words are loaded with wisdom and courage; choose to develop your gifts and talents. Sadly, so many will miss out on becoming all that God has blessed them to become. I believe fear is the root.

The great Zig Ziglar said, “Fear is simply: False Evidence Appearing Real.” Many fear being rejected from exercising their gifts and talents. And who rejects them? Small minded people. If you have to be less of a person to be accepted by others, I suggest you fish in another pond for a healthier circle of friends and family.

Posted in attitude by Jane Jenkins Herlong.
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Patti Davis’ Honors Nancy Reagan-Reminder for Parents

Patti Davis, known for her tumultuous relationship with her mother, shared lovely words at Nancy Reagan’s funeral. “I choose to remember my mother framed by the window of a New York hotel room as I told her that I’d been involved in a complicated relationship for two years and had been cruelly tossed aside. I was 19. I felt older and more wounded than any 19 year-old should feel. I needed a mother and I came to mine. Holding out a fragile hope that she would keep me from crumbling beyond recognition. She did. She didn’t judge me. She wasn’t punishing or accusatory. She was tender and understanding and loving.”

These are eloquent words of wisdom. Our children can make life decisions that will cause much pain to themselves and those who love them. Nancy Reagan, in her wisdom, knew about timing. Her child hurt and she knew to hold her daughter and not judge her.

Posted in attitude, encouragement, inspiration, parenting by Jane Jenkins Herlong.
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