Latest "family" Posts

My WOW Woman Momma and Hurricane Irma

I am watching Hurricane Irma and could not resist sharing this story about my funny and WOW mother (Woman of Wisdom).

 

My new book, “Rhinetones on my Flip-Flops” to be released on 9/26 is loaded with some of my favorite Southern tales so here is a memory to make you chuckle. Only in the South…

My WOW Woman Momma and Hurricane Irma

Momma was in the Intensive Care Unit recovering from heart surgery. We were only allowed to visit every two hours; I was always anxious to see her every morning. Momma’s doctor, Dr. Schweiger was making his rounds. My sister and I talked him into delivering a container of green peas and whipped potatoes—Momma’s favorite. Bless his heart, he was not thrilled walking into ICU carrying momma’s “breakfast.”

We had already made history at Roper Hospital. Momma missed her hair appointment—the first time in 48 years. You see it was Wednesday.

Posted in family, fun, funny, humor, Hurricanes, Southern Humor by Jane Jenkins Herlong.

Life Changing Laughter With Your Family

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Several years ago Thomas phoned with a big announcement, “I have a surprise for everybody. I’m driving up now.” The children and I raced outside, filled with laughter, and saw the object that challenged my wedding vows and changed my life forever—a boat. Not just any boat. A blue boat, its glittering paint sparkling in the sunlight. It reminded me of the Mike Benet pageant gown I wore in the Beaufort Water Festival. The children were thrilled. They thought it was beautiful.
Thomas is a man of good taste. Seeing him behind the wheel of that mirage-like, rhinestoned blue sequined boat seemed totally out of character. Thomas is more like Ward Cleaver than Larry the Cable Guy, or so I’d thought. 
Maybe that sparkly boat was his queenly tribute to the fact that he had dated two Miss Americas. “Did you know the boat was this color?” I asked hesitantly.
“Well, I knew the boat was blue, but not this kind of blue,” Thomas replied, not making sense. What frightened me the most was the massive engine attached to the stern. Yes, I said stern. Here lies yet another problem. I know very little about boats. Honestly, the entire thing resembled a piece of blue, rhinestone-encrusted plywood with a space shuttle engine attached to its rear.
To make boating even more interesting, Thomas honors only two speeds: dead still and g-force fast. We were in trouble. 
The boat did well in the lake near our home but taking it to the ocean brought new challenges. Tide changes create banks—big islands of pluff mud and/or oyster shell beds. We knew where practically every bank was located—we hit all of them. I kept an old pair of shoes in the boat because I became the designated “pusher.” You may ask, don’t you have a depth finder? Yes, but by the time it beeps you’re already up the “crick.”
I realized the Blue Beauty Queen is one of those big toys that men love to buy that resulted in even bigger family memories. I have no idea what happened to that sparkly boat but I do know there were times of being stared at, pointed to, and laughed at as we cruised open water and got stuck on banks. The greatest lesson is that we learned to laugh at ourselves; that glittery boat taught us how to sparkle and shine.
Pass this on to someone who needs to be reminded that developing a sense of humor starts with being able to laugh at yourself!
Do you need female motivational speakers at your next event? Maybe an after dinner speech needs to be given to tie your whole evening together. Contact me today at 803.480.1190 and let’s discuss your speaker needs! Find out more about the presentations I offer.

Posted in family, humor, laughter, Southern Humor by Jane Jenkins Herlong.
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Thanksgiving Kid Table…Do You Miss it, Too?

We did not know how lucky we were to sit at the Kid Table...

 We did not know how lucky we were sitting at the “kid table” for the Thanksgiving meal. There was no one to tell you what to eat or how to eat. You could help yourself to a mountain of mac and cheese. You were free to lob a roll across the table or catapult green beans with your spoon.

Cholesterol? No one knew what it was. My speaker friend Charles Petty said, “If we had had cholesterol when I was a child, Momma would have probably fried it.”

No manners were required. You could laugh-out-loud at that crazy cousin until your beverage escaped through your nose.

The adult table had china; the kids had Chinet. Their plates were carefully handled. The kids’ plates were Frisbees before and after the meal. The adult table was decorated with precious heirloom flatware; the kid table had plastic utensils and solo cups. Our napkins were paper towels; perfect for food fights.

Posted in family, fun, Holidays by Jane Jenkins Herlong.
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Chad Hymas Reminds Us to Put Family First

ChadHymasChad Hymas was our speaker this past weekend for the Carolinas Chapter of the National Speakers Association meeting. Chad’s presentation was amazing and inspiring – truly from the heart of a champion. Because of Chad’s physical condition, he had to wake up at 4 AM to be ready for our 9 AM meeting. Chad’s passion for his faith, family and sharing his message touched our hearts. Here is an excerpt from Chad’s bio:

The Wall Street Journal calls Chad Hymas “one of the 10 most inspirational people in the world!” Chad inspires, motivates, and moves audiences,creating an        experience that touches hearts for a lifetime. He is one of the youngest ever to receive the Council of Peers Award for Excellence (CPAE) and to be inducted intothe prestigious National Speaker Hall Of Fame. In 2001, at the age of 27, Chad’s life changed in an instant when a 2,000-pound bale of hay shattered his neck, leaving him a quadriplegic. But Chad’s dreams were not paralyzed that day – he became an example of what is possible. Chad is a best-selling author, president of his own Communications Company, Chad Hymas Communications, Inc., and is a recognized world-class wheelchair athlete. In 2003, Chad set a world record by wheeling his chair from Salt Lake City to Las Vegas (513 miles).

Posted in family, parenting, Speaking engagement by Jane Jenkins Herlong.
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Parenting; The 24-Hour Job That Never Ends

  On July the 7th, 1988, my mother said, “Tomorrow you will become a mother;  from that day forward, your life is not your own.”  Boy, was she right!  Then twenty-two months later, another child was born…and then there were two.  I quickly learned some valuable info being a parent.  No doubt that parenting  is the 24-hour job that never ends. The following is a humorous story from my new book, “Bury Me with My Pearls.”

Oyster Shells and Oyster Roasts; a Southern TraditionOn July the 7th, 1988, my mother said, “Tomorrow you will become a mother;  from that day forward, your life is not your own.”  Boy, was she right!  Then twenty-two months later, another child was born…and then there were two.  I quickly learned some valuable info being a parent.  No doubt that parenting  is the 24-hour job that never ends. The following is a humorous story from my new book, “Bury Me with My Pearls.”

     The rule is that oyster roasts can only be celebrated during “R” months.  Professional oyster roast folks will be accessorized with a glove, knife and appetite.  It is not uncommon to see engraved knives and monogrammed gloves. We do love our oyster roasts.

One of the greatest challenges is to open the oyster shell.   They can be the most stubborn shell to pry open.  The shell is protecting the growing delicacy that is on the inside.

Posted in children, family, parenting, Uncategorized by Jane Jenkins Herlong.

Tootsie’s Biscuits: Soul Food

I run into the house and search for the green roll holder with the little black top that has been glued on for at least 20 years.  If it is not resting on the middle of the table in the place of honor, then it has to be on the counter next to the toaster oven.  They just have to be there. If they were still hot I know I could smell them.  I can hear Tootsie’s voice, “Come yuh, Baby.  I done fix you yo’ baby biscuit.” Beyond her Gullah words are dedicated years to my family of love, care and service. Tootsie’s biscuits are my soul food.I run into the house and search for the green roll holder with the little black top that has been glued on for at least 20 years.  If it is not resting on the middle of the table in the place of honor, then it has to be on the counter next to the toaster oven.  They just have to be there. If they were still hot I know I could smell them.  I can hear Tootsie’s voice, “Come yuh, Baby.  I done fix you yo’ baby biscuit.” Beyond her Gullah words are dedicated years to my family of love, care and service. Tootsie’s biscuits are my soul food.

Posted in faith, family, Uncategorized by Jane Jenkins Herlong.

The Long Branches of the Historic Angel Oak Tree

The Long Branches of the Historic Angel Oak Tree

Posted in encouragment, family by Jane Jenkins Herlong.

It’s Okay to Not Want to Be a Christmas Donkey

Been there, done that. I remember the stress of hoping and praying that the children would “act right.” UUUGHHH. But little Banks decided that enough is enough…..get my _________out of here. (You can fill in the blanks). Yes, little Banks reminds us that it’s okay to not want to be a Christmas donkey.Been there, done that. I remember the stress of hoping and praying that our children would “act right.” UUUGHHH. But little Banks decided that enough is enough…..get my _________out of here. (You can fill in the blanks). In the midst of the beautiful angelic host and Wisemen,  little Banks reminds us that it’s okay to not want to be a Christmas donkey.

This is a life lesson that is practiced when we are young and learned as we age. Times when you decide that this is not for me…..I do not like doing this…this is not my thing so don’t make me do this…. It takes some folks years of searching to develop the courage to say no.

Posted in family, home, Uncategorized by Jane Jenkins Herlong.

The Dysfunctional Family Thanksgiving 2013

Let’s face it, there are many families that will be popping a Valium or other drugs to get through the Holidays . Oh, yes. In honor of these brave family members, The dysfunctional family Thanksgiving 2013 may need a song. I have written a new parody to the tune of the hit song, We are Family, by Sister Sledge. Here is a snippet of the chorus: We are family, We Live dysfunctionally, We are family, Everybody needs therapy…..#pearlsbookLet’s face it, there are many folks in  families who will be popping a Valium or other drugs to get through the Holidays .  Oh, yes.  In honor of these brave family members, I have written a new parody to the tune of the hit song, We are Family, by Sister Sledge. The dysfunctional family Thanksgiving 2013 may need a song.  Here is a snippet of the chorus:

We are Family

We live dysfunctionally…We are family…Everybody needs therapy…..

I imagine the first Thanksgiving was not that pleasant.  I bet some of those  sistah Pilgrims were mad at their husbands for dragging them across the big pond.  I bet they threatened to swim back to England many times.  “Oh, really!” said the hormonal sistah Pilgrim. “I’ll show you and sail that Mayflower right back home.  Momma told me to marry that cute English butcher.” Maybe this is why turkey is such a tradition to be consumed at Thanksgiving  since it has a chemical in the meat that puts you to sleep. The Pilgrims actually were pre-yankees and if I-95S had been invented, they would have hit the road….. bound for Dade County.

Posted in Bury Me With My Pearls, family, Thanksgiving by Jane Jenkins Herlong.

Families: If the Old Kitchen Table Could Talk

 

As I began writing my book, Bury Me with My Pearls, I knew there had to be a chapter on families and children. Dusting my kitchen table gave me the perfect story since I noticed marks and scratches all over one part of its surface. On closer examination, I saw some beautiful reminders of the importance of family. Families: if the old kitchen table could talk, it would tell priceless stories....#pearlsbookAs I began writing my book, Bury Me with My Pearls,  I knew there  had to be a chapter on families and children.  Dusting my kitchen table gave me the perfect story since I noticed marks and scratches all over one part of its surface. On closer examination, I saw some beautiful reminders of the importance of family.  Families: if the old kitchen table could talk, it  would tell priceless stories….#pearlsbook  Enjoy an excerpt from a chapter in the book, “Children: Our Most Precious Pearls

I dusted the kitchen table and saw the words, “Daniel C. Herlong” imprinted in the grain of the wood. I remember that was the time when Daddy Big John was teaching Holmes how to write cursive. The lesson was obviously repeated several times.Now we have an indelible memory of my father-in-law’s signature to cherish.

Posted in family, home by Jane Jenkins Herlong.