Latest "funny" Posts

Hurricane Irma Take-A-Ways

Supposedly, animals react during unusual weather.  I did not believe it until my feral-ish kitty ran through our den, jumped up onto the tv cabinet, and began fighting the swirling rains bands of Irma displayed on the television.  If that wasn’t enough, she then turned her attention to Jim Cantore, weather channel icon, and tried to fight him too.  You go, Jenks. I think all who were affected by  Hurricane Irma felt the same way.

That storm just kept flip-flopping! In my book, “Rhinestones on My Flip-flops” to be released in under two weeks, I focus on how life can change and flip so quickly, just like Hurricane Irma. Many “flip-flop stories” are included in my book but also how to sparkle and shine through these times

Posted in faith, funny, Hurricanes by Jane Jenkins Herlong.

My WOW Woman Momma and Hurricane Irma

I am watching Hurricane Irma and could not resist sharing this story about my funny and WOW mother (Woman of Wisdom).

 

My new book, “Rhinetones on my Flip-Flops” to be released on 9/26 is loaded with some of my favorite Southern tales so here is a memory to make you chuckle. Only in the South…

My WOW Woman Momma and Hurricane Irma

Momma was in the Intensive Care Unit recovering from heart surgery. We were only allowed to visit every two hours; I was always anxious to see her every morning. Momma’s doctor, Dr. Schweiger was making his rounds. My sister and I talked him into delivering a container of green peas and whipped potatoes—Momma’s favorite. Bless his heart, he was not thrilled walking into ICU carrying momma’s “breakfast.”

We had already made history at Roper Hospital. Momma missed her hair appointment—the first time in 48 years. You see it was Wednesday.

Posted in family, fun, funny, humor, Hurricanes, Southern Humor by Jane Jenkins Herlong.

Communication Skills and Mishaps

I love writing about the fearless, fabulous, and first lady of pageantry Queen Esther in my new book, “Rhinestones on my Flip-Flops.” It was a blast reminiscing about pageants and the many hours I spent working on my interview and communication skills while laughing at myself through the mishaps.

Communication Skills and Mishaps

I consider “pageant world’  life on steroids.  Preparing for the Miss America Pageant was a great teacher for the rest of my life since communication is a key element for success. Unlike the other phases of competition, this is one aspect that won’t develop wrinkles or sag with age. Our communication skills improve as time passes. Call it whatever, interview is where I learned the fine art of expression. There are two kinds of skills: dumb and smart.  Here is dumb.

Posted in beauty pageants, beauty queens, funny, humor, laughter, memories by Jane Jenkins Herlong.

Funny Story About a Wal-Mart Greeter- Do you know your Employees?

I love a funny story and here is one I could not resist sharing—a genuine flip-flop in communication.


At a dinner party the other night, the conversation drifted to Wal-Mart greeters since my very bored, post-Ford Motor Credit executive and brother-in-law, Stanley, became a Wal-Mart greeter for a brief period of time. One of our dinner party pals was able to relate to Stanley’s greeter tales. Their story was quite humorous and interesting… a Wal-Mart store manager obviously was unaware of his greeter’s resume. This is a funny story!

The greeter was habitually late but an excellent employee. Out of frustration concerning this gentleman’s tardiness, the Wal-Mart store manager had a one-on-one meeting. “So,” inquired the boss, “were you ever late arriving at your former job?”  “Why, yes,” answered the greeter. “Well, tell me, what comment was made upon your late arrival?”

The greeter replied, “Good Morning, Admiral Jones. Would you like another cup of coffee?”

Posted in funny, funny speaker by Jane Jenkins Herlong.

How to Avoid a Stressful Circus

I heard two zingers concerning adding unnecessary stress to your life. “Not my monkeys; not my circus” and “Not in my hoola-hoop.” Super advice, right?

Stress is a killer and I am not being dramatic. According to a Popular Science article, 30 Percent of U.S. adults say stress strongly impacts their physical health; 33 percent say it strongly impacts their mental health.

How to fight stress is included in my new book, “Rhinestones on my Flip-Flops; Choosing Extravagant Joy in the Midst of Everyday Mess-ups.” Hummm, we all need a reminder.

How to Avoid a Stressful Circus

A stranger made me laugh during a stressful moment at Wal-Mart. He had a beautiful Siberian Husky on a leash as he strolled through Wal-Mart. I  heard a woman comment to the pet owner, “I can’t believe Wal-Mart allows your dog in the store.” Suddenly a child screamed in a horrible high-pitched tone. The timing was perfect. The gentleman replied with a chuckle, “I guess it is because my dog behaves better than some of the people in this store.” Yep, there was truth in that comment.

Posted in book release, funny, life lessons by Jane Jenkins Herlong.
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Get Rid Of Anxiety Once And For All

I will never forget the day I started cleaning out our freezer. To be honest, I kept putting stuff in that chest freezer and closing the lid. The day came when the lid would not shut; it was time to organize and throw away all of the anxiety that was the contents of the freezer…

Digging through the layers of frozen stuff, I kept hearing a song from the Disney movie, “Frozen.” Let it go, let it go …I saw Ziploc bags dated in indelible ink that were older than my college-aged children. I tried to avoid asking Thomas for his help but I became overwhelmed with the task. I dreaded Thomas finding the buried bags of Game he had prepared for the freezer. It was a big assignment since there were so many things I wanted to hold onto but needed to throw away.

Posted in Bury Me With My Pearls, funny by Jane Jenkins Herlong.
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How to Write Funny Stuff

       Several years ago, I was asked to write a humor article for our local paper.  I had the task of writing every week for many years.  Sadly, like most local publications, the paper was discontinued.  The good news is that I have profited financially and used those articles for many other purposes:  speeches, blogs, magazine articles, Sirius XM Comedy, Pandora, original parodies and most recently a best-selling book on Amazon.  This humble beginning has helped me write personal development books and also helped me position myself as a funny speaker. So how do you write funny stuff?Several years ago, I was asked to write a humor article for our local paper.  I had the task of writing every week for many years.  Sadly, like most local publications, the paper was discontinued.  The good news is that I have profited financially and used those articles for many other purposes:  speeches, blogs, magazine articles, Sirius XM Comedy, Pandora, original parodies and most recently a best-selling book on Amazon.  This humble beginning has helped me write personal development books and also helped me position myself as a funny speaker. So how do you write funny stuff?

1-Keep a Journal

If you hear something funny or inspirational, write I down.  I have notes on my phone, church bulletin, slips of paper;  you name it.  Don’t hesitate to make notes because you may miss a really great humorous story.

Posted in funny by Jane Jenkins Herlong.
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Friends Who Make You Snort; Joe Lee

When I say the word, "snort" I am not referring to drugs. I am talking about those deep uncontrollable hysteria. This is why I love to connect with my friends who make me laugh so hard I snort. And one of my favorite laughing buds is Joe Lee. #pearlsbookWhen I say the word, “snort” I am not referring to drugs. I am talking about deep uncontrollable hysteria. This is why I love to connect with  my friends who make me laugh so hard I snort. And one of my favorite laughing buds is Joe Lee.  #pearlsbook

I love the quote; “Friendship is like a violin.  The strings may stop for a moment but the music is still there.” 

One of the delights of writing my book, “Bury Me with My Pearls” was reconnecting with various friends and sharing the news that I wrote a story about them.   Joe Lee’s story is on page 106. It was a funny pageant moment that began with Joe Lee plopping down beside me at the Miss South Carolina Pageant.  I was the reigning queen and had to act “queenly.” As I glanced to see my fellow seat mate, I realized that I was in trouble.  There was no way to act queenly with Joe Lee next to me.

Posted in friends, funny, Uncategorized by Jane Jenkins Herlong.

I Won Miss America’s Boyfriend

“I hope you win.” I said.  “Oh,” said Miss Mississippi, “I’m gonna win. I know this is what our Lord has prepared for me.” It was a moment when I knew I was in the middle of something big.  On the Miss America stage I met Miss Mississippi and she won the title of Miss America; but I won Miss America’s boyfriend.“I hope you win.” I said.  “Oh,” said Miss Mississippi, “I’m gonna win. I know this is what our Lord has prepared for me.” It was a moment when I knew I was in the middle of something big.  On the Miss America stage I met Miss Mississippi and she won the title of Miss America; but I won Miss America’s boyfriend.

Years ago, I met Cheryl Prewitt, Miss America 1980.  Cheryl has always been a wonderful friend and support.  When it came time to write my book, “Bury Me with my Pearls,” I asked Cheryl to write a testimonial. #pearlsbook.  I was so touched by her words:

Posted in funny, Miss America by Jane Jenkins Herlong.

Confronting Negativity with Humor and Grace

POstcard-for-book-give-aways..We all have to deal with negative people, situations and unpleasant events.  We have all been affected by dysfunction.  The question is how do we function in dysfunction?  We have a choice;  act like Jerry Springer or C-Span. I choose to confront negativity with humor and grace .  You may even call it Amazing Grace.

A couple of things come to mind as I write this.  Trying times like these can be as confusing as a buzzard trying to eat an armadillo.  I actually saw this the other day.  Call is what you want- “possum on the half shell” but a couple of buzzards were totally confused on how to dine on the creature.  Armadillos are new to our areas so buzzards are learning about these armed critters. Many times we  are often not equipped to handle confusion and stress. We just want to run away but that only sets up the lesson to return and  be learned later.

Posted in funny, mother, motivation, stress, wisdom by Jane Jenkins Herlong.
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