Latest "pageants" Posts

America – Melting Pot or Septic Tank?

I was PROUD to sing the National Anthem at the Miss South Carolina Pageant last week. It was a fun week filled with Queens, Princesses, Princes, Wanna-bees, Should-a-Beens, I’m-Done-With-This Pageant, and I-Can’t-Wait-till-Next-Year Competitors.  It was a beauty queen melting pot of variety of gowns, bodies and political opinions. It was a slice of America on steroids.

Posted in beauty pageants, beauty queens, pageants, Southern Humor by Jane Jenkins Herlong.
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Beauty Pageant World … Humor in the ER

Miss Sc png“Just when you think the worst is over…” I told my audience at Ashley River Baptist Church concerning my last 24-hours of stress. I tried to make the events sound funny and stress what a great job I did handling issues. Little did I know that the events to come in “pageant world” would make the last 24 hours seem “blah” … proving once again that life is all about your attitude.

I was on my way to celebrate pageant week.  All of us queens from yester-year gussied up for a blast from the past if even for a few seconds of walking and waving on the stage.  Reminds me of this plaque someone gave me that makes me laugh:

“We can’t all be the queen.  Some of you have to sit on the curb and wave as I go by.”

Posted in beauty pageants, Miss South Carolina, pageants by Jane Jenkins Herlong.
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Miss America 2014 Sang a Solo with a Solo Cup

 

Like millions or just a half million (maybe this is the problem) who watched the Miss America pageant we observed Miss New York sit on the stage crossed-legged and sing a simple song while playing a large plastic drinking cup. Only minutes later, we watched as this same young woman was named Miss America. Her competition? A ventriloquist who brought the house down, classical pianist, opera singer and two beautiful dancers. So much for the image of Miss America twirling flaming-bladed batons. Miss America 2014 sang a solo with a solo cup.

Miss America 2014 Sang a Solo with a Solo Cup?

Like millions or just a half million (maybe this is the problem) who watched the Miss America pageant we observed Miss New York sit on the stage crossed-legged and sing a simple song while playing a large plastic drinking cup. Only minutes later, we watched as this same young woman was named Miss America. Her competition?  A ventriloquist who brought the house down, classical pianist, opera singer and two beautiful dancers.  So much for the image of Miss America twirling flaming-bladed batons. Miss America 2014 sang a solo with a solo cup.

I can think of lots of jokes:  I can understand being defeated by a “C” cup but a Solo cup? Miss Virginia, “A cup beat me.” Headlines from Atlantic City: Miss New York Takes Crown Singing a Solo with a Solo.

Posted in Miss America, pageants, red cup by Jane Jenkins Herlong.

Miss America and Social Media Cowards

 

 I would rather be a product of the Miss America Program and help to make a positive difference in this world that to sit in front of a computer and slam those who do.Last week many commented on the annual Miss America Pageant.  It was held in Convention Center in Atlantic City, New Jersey like it was at its genesis.  As always, the competition consisted of swimwear, gown, some talents (thank God) and interview.  Historically, there is always some controversy and this year was no exception.  The drama was spawned from our own precious Miss South Carolina, Brooke Mosteller who would not hurt a fly.  Brooke introduced herself with words written for her. A firestorm of controversy led to Tweets and other postings on social media that highlighted how uneducated the most educated are about pageant competition. It also prompted me to write about Miss America and social media cowards.

Posted in America, attitude, beauty queens, humor, life lessons, motivation, pageants, women by Jane Jenkins Herlong.

Don’t Smoke Weed in a Beauty Pageant

 

A crown with SMILE

I was a contestant in the Miss Coastal Carolina Fair pageant. Another fellow contestant was so nervous; she told me that she had smoked some pot to try to relax.  I knew something was wrong; she acted more like a Space Queen instead of contestant for the Fair Queen. Ironically, she was contestant number 13 and for talent she sang the classic country song, “I Fall to Pieces.” Just a friendly piece of advice; don’t smoke weed in a beauty pageant.

With all that against her she need more help. Smoking a joint only made her act bizarre.We both made it to the top ten and had to answer an on-stage question. Backstage she asked, “Do you think they will ask us about current events?  I know nothing except my daddy  told me that meat prices are high. He works at the Piggly Wiggly in the meat department.  That somehow got stuck in her pot head.

Posted in family, fun, pageants, Uncategorized, women by Jane Jenkins Herlong.

Billy’s Funeral Home- Miss America Pageant Memories

I trained for pageant competition at Billy's Funeral Home.In the “minor league” pageants there are normally 4 categories on the judges’ ballots: poise, smile, projection, and overall appearance.  It does not take a genius to figure out that poise is smile, projection and overall appearance.  In fact, poise is everything.  I learn how to perfect my beauty queen walk and talk at Billy’s Funeral Home.  Billy helped me walk all the way to the major league of  pageantry,  the Miss America Pageant.

I heard that Billy’s  technique was the best in the South and to perfect took years of practice and discipline.  I heard that he had so many winners he lost count.  His accolades included the likes of “Miss Universe” to “Little Miss Saturday Afternoon at The Mall”.

Posted in America, attitude, beauty queens, fun, funny, humor, memories, Miss America, Miss South Carolina, pageants, Southern by Jane Jenkins Herlong.

Spanx, False Eyelashes, and a Spray-on Tan

I opened the letter from the Miss South Carolina Organization.It read, “Join us for the 75th Anniversary of the Miss South Carolina Pageant where we will honor you for your reign……” All of this translated in my mind to….”Jane, you have to lose 15 pounds, try to erase 20 years, buy a new gown, Spanx, false eyelashes, a spray-on tan, make sure your roots are covered, get a facial, pedicure, manicure and take half a valium in case you don’t get this all together.

What would I do if the weight will not come off my body? I had heard about this all- in-one body suit that takes at least 15 pounds off. So on my speaking engagement to Minnesota, I went to the Mall of America to find the wonder garment.The first one of these spandex marvels I located could fit in the palm of my hand.I thought even Barbie would struggle with this thing. I pulled that gismo as high as my knee and knew then to peal it off. The search continued and I finally settled on a Nordstrom body suit.Pulling the undergarment up was like stuffing an opened can of Crest Rolls back into the canister.

Posted in beauty queens, Miss America, Miss South Carolina, pageants by Jane Jenkins Herlong.